1. |
N95
02:35
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You’re smaller each day
In an n95
And I can’t hug you now
Cause I know you could die
But you die in a week either way
So I’ll wait
I tell you I’m a woman while you sit with the dog
On the bed in the room
Where I put on the bras
Cause you die in a week either way
So i won’t wait
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2. |
Temper
02:18
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I was a young man
Sitting in the backseat sipping on a wine can
Set up just to receive
Giving gives pleasure but it means I’ve gotta work a little harder
Power gives pleasure easily
I got a smug look, turning apples into hot applesauce
Show it off to my friends
Playing a god game, only go where everyone knows my name
I lost my taste for the sin
I dont even know what im angry for
Some bullshit about not feeling powerful
It doesnt have to meet my every need
A seagull in a parking lot still eats
I lost my temper in a parking lot off a midwest highway
Chewed laffy taffy quietly
Sex and agression, its the paranormal rulebook
I guess it sorta rings true to me
I dont even know what im angry for
Some bullshit about not feeling powerful
It doesnt have to meet my every need
A seagull in a parking lot still eats
I drank the reservoir til it was gone
Now im looking at where the water was
Its just cement, sticks and mud
Still a hell of a lot better than the hunger was
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3. |
Cold Hands
03:32
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There’s things I've said that I can't stand behind
But you knew me back when I did
There's times I thought I couldnt live with myself
But you made me promise I would
It’s flooding in the basement
And I'm trying to save my stuff
And I didn’t realize i had this much
There's things I’ve picked up and put back where I got them from
And backed away
You dare me to wade in as slow as I want
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4. |
Big Mouth Bass
02:47
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Big mouth mass
Dipping a toe in soggy grass
You said time isn’t real
Then whys it stuck in my head, the tick and tick and tick and tick and tick
And your shit-eater grin
Holding ceramic plates we bought to break
We threw em at trees
The birds squabbled off, just you and me left
I want it all,
I want it all back
Shatterproof glass
I caught you holding back a laugh
When i said something fake deep
You told me you could look right through me
I know you didnt lie
When you said you love the pain, it feels alive
Cause i love when its over
And i wake up feeling normal
Saw that you called so im just calling you back
You’re a little mean but i like em like that
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5. |
Growing Pains
03:20
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Reminding myself I don't get to decide
If I’m a good person or not
There's pieces of me I don't quite understand
But I see that there's harm they could cause
So I swallow that pill with flat gingerale
And start digging everything out of my gut
And growing pains hurt like a bitch
But there was somebody in me that I couldn't become
Is this real life?
It feels really bad sometimes
Covering my eyes
Tell me when it's safe outside
You asked for nothing back
And you gave me everything
I don't wanna hide
I wanna do something right
Reminding myself I can't learn anything if I act like I already know
You’ve always seen right through my bullshit
And I needed it
More than you even knew
But I’ll hurt myself bad without blinking
And wanna know why that's a thing that I do
And you've gotten close
And I can't shake the feeling I'm already hurting you too
This is real life
I'm moving through space and time
Sometimes I forget
I need to remember that
You ask for nothing back
And you gave me so much time
I don't wanna die
I wanna do something right
I wanna do something
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6. |
Country Bar
03:56
|
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Do you think that i dont see how you look at me?
The rip in the fabric is moving with the heater
Purposefully cryptic, you’re holding the tension
While i get the needle intending to mend it
We’d spend whole days just digging through garbage
The cat in the afternoons calling for something
And I cant understand all the hidden intention
But a kiss on the head is a sacred offering
Gravel piled up in a lot off the interstate
First one to the top is enormous and strongest
I am the king of all i am feeling
And you are in charge of your own expression
So don’t you think that I cant see how you look at me
Its no surprise I love the mechanical
Rock like a bull in a country bar
A crumpled up instruction manual
I think we’ll decide where the pieces go
If it sputters and spits ill take it apart again
I think it all can fit
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7. |
A Gift
03:44
|
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You gave me a gift that i couldn't regift or give back to you
I don't wanna look at the things i don't like but i'm sifting through
When no one was home we took off all our clothes in the kitchen
Running and hollering, laughing, i knew that was living
Just a comical dance
Not a drink in the hand
I touched the pan
Yeah i knew it was hot
So why'd I touch it?
Being carefully cruel to the things that you love is still careless
When no one was home i took cup after cup to the attic
Hiding and crying out “how could i fall for my old tricks”
But it was right in my light and looking divine
When i was stupid i thought everything should be perfect
Like good was a muscle that’d grow without having to work it
Well that can't be right
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8. |
Immaculate
06:01
|
|||
I fell out of the rocking chair
Pushed too hard too fast, left an embarrassing mess
I felt out of my element
elementar, ones and twos, I will count all the things in the room
One bird in the hand
I am calling out to you
Echolocating myself, wondering if you want me here
Well, do you want me here?
I won't have another drink
Cause i don't wanna be that guy anymore
But it hurts to sit and think
I think i'd better take a walk
You don't have to lay in wait
While i divvy up the truth
Just don't remind me my mistakes
I'm still thinking bout them too
Making the bed up immaculate
When i know what you like, i will work to provide
Make at the mirror an angry face
Cause i take and i take and i take and i take
And im not gonna give back
Riding our bikes on a cold night
Got that taste in my mouth, the one we both like
Its sorta like blood
I wont have another drink
Cause i dont wanna be that guy anymore
But it hurts to sit and think
I think id better take a walk
You dont have to lay in wait
While i divvy up the truth
Just dont remind me my mistakes
Im still thinking bout them too
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9. |
Weather
03:16
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We talk about nothing
The weather’s been nice and you're fine
I bike through some glass
And then walk through some places you’d usually drive
Their design makes them dangerous
It’s no ones fault
But I wish there were lights
Blew a kiss to a friend
Through her window
Then went home to hide
I love you so bad too
But can’t return calls for my life
And dad’s back home dying,
The city’s is so dead every night
A drink in a salsa jar: money from mom over ice
Does my design make me dangerous, why do I hate my insides?
There's a clog in the drain and the bad things are coming back up
I can't look at my face, I can't care for the people I love
You tell me the good things
Cause I couldnt think
But I knew there were some
I’m fucking not playing – dont leave me alone
I dont wanna find out what I'm capable of
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10. |
Nice Night
02:50
|
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Flash, a smile when the door opens
The light on the porch strobing
Bright, on and off
Nice night, so we split a cigarette
Laughing with our eyes shut
To block out the flickering
Last night, I wanted to take you to bed
And tell you i was wrong to focus on the little things
Its just sometimes, I think a thought I shouldn’t have
Im sorry that you understand
Its sad that you get that one
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